Argh Yer Speakin as a Pirate

I have no idea what that means.  Yet verily this be September 19 and, fer no dercernible reason yar know, 'tis Talk Like a Pirate Day. Here I be with helpful links ter bail yer out with yer mateys:

• The Pirate Quote Generator. Of skeptical provenance.
• Real Pirate Quotes. No arrrs. Looks legit. Sadly.
• Pirate Quotes and Sayings. First quote from ... Johnny Depp; second, from ... Mark Twain. Not a strong effort.
• Mitt Romney Quotes. I have no idea how this got in here.
• Instructional Materials For When Yer Ready to be Freestylin'
• Video instruction
• How to Talk Like a Pirate from Wikihow
• Yet More Instructions

God speed to ye.

I feel like an idiot.