The Llamda, we understand, believe that a God, or the Gods, or, collectively, a "Godhead," created the Universe, but that life on our planet, Arret, at least sentient life, as it is, was inadvertent, a, shall we say, divine accident. The Llamda believe this, because, they think living things on Arret have so many flaws, and shortcomings, and life and death are so arbitrary, that they could not have been intended, or purposefully created ... ! So, too, they believe that the thought processes of sentient beings on Arret contain so many inconsistencies, uncertainties, and lapses, that people’s “thinking,” as such, is plainly imperfect, and not possibly an intentionally created thing. A Godhead with the power to create an entire Universe would not purposefully have made such badly designed beings or processes. So, life, at least sentient life on Arret, in their view, was an accidental outcome of the Godhead’s enormous endeavor of Universal creation.
The Godhead, alas, is, evidently unaware of life's accidental flourishing on Arret That is because it is not here, as it would be if it were aware of the situation, and, hence, it must be busy elsewhere in the Universe. The Llamdians know the Godhead is not here, for, obviously, it cannot be seen. Quite evidently, if the Godhead were actually present, it's splendor would be manifest and overwhelming, as it is the creator of everything.
The Llamda, nonplussed, nonetheless, seek to show to the Godhead that Life, indeed, does exist on Arret. Most importantly, they seek to show their own Llamdian factual existence as a fait accompli, as it were, lest their existence then be otherwise unknown to the Godhead, and to the Universe writ large, and their accidental existence rendered futile.
They seek to Arret's and Llamdian existence by, firstly, gaining the Godhead’s attention, and, once, sometime in the future, when the Godhead is paying attention and finally evidences itself, demonstrating to the Godhead that life on Arret, generally, and the Llamdians, specifically, are worthy of keeping, perhaps immortalizing, and maybe indeed even worth elevating to a higher plane of existence … ! In this, they seek to show that living things, generally, and the Llamda, specifically, are “happy accidents,” and that they are of use to the Godhead by having the skill of, in their phrase, “turning the unplanned into the plan.” The Llamda believe their best use to the Godhead is to be “Shepherds of the Universe,” mediators, and advisors, if you will, to the Godhead, who, in the Godhead's collective perfection, would not otherwise readily grasp the irrational ways of the unplanned.
Thusly, in their day-to-day conduct, the Llamda seek, at least
in their theory, to be "Good Shepherds" to the world. We observe that, in practice, this can lead to politesse, to acts, that appear, outwardly, as
kindnesses, and good deeds, but which may be thought, by others, as a bit superficial, and not heartfelt, as conduct that will be abandoned
once it seems safe to abandon it. The Llamda certainly believe they know the right way for others to act. The Llamda, to be sure, perceive their own cultural boundaries, and terms, and hidden meanings, but these practices can be misleading to naïve strangers, who, unwittingly, may place their reliance on Llamdian kindness when doing so is unwarranted. The Llamda are not known, generally, for
keeping promises.
The Llamda's primary form of worship is the "Hum.” In the
Hum, duly qualified and sanctified Llamdians stand in large circles holding hands, and loudly sing a set of long, sonorous, notes for hours on end. This is intended to eventually draw the Godhead’s divine attention. Their circular
temples are designed as echo chambers, open in the middle, with giant flaring
open horns on the temple's exterior walls, pointing to the skies. The Llamda
have temples at many places in Arret, not just Pyth. These are often, we think, in unusual places, but, evidently, ones that the Llamda have decided, for whatever reason, are the most
accessible to the Heavens, or at least to the Godhead.
During the Hum after several hours, participants sometimes go into trances, or enter ecstatic states, and these Llamdians, so entranced, or ecstatic, are quickly moved out of the circle, and replaced, by new sanctified singers. "Special" priests, we are told, care for those entranced, or in ecstasy, in special sound-proofed rooms where the noises and gesticulations, of the entranced, and ecstatic, will not disturb the ongoing ceremony. Here the priests, significantly, apparently do not try to “awaken,” or calm, or revive the entranced, or ecstatic, but, rather, they work to carefully write down the "statements" of the entranced, and ecstatic, "statements" that otherwise, we think, would ordinarily be called as babbling.
These statements are recorded as potentially inspired revelations into the Godhead. Arising as they are through the ecstatic experience, these revelatory babblings may, or may not, be rational, we suppose, but it is of no moment to the priests, for, in fact, in the irrational they believe lie happy accidents. The revelations will later be poured over, again and again, by other specialist priests who seek, evidently, insight into how Llamdians might best function as Shepherds of the Universe, into how they might best “interface” with the Godhead, and to hone the priests’ skill at turning the unplanned into the plan.
The revelations, duly recorded, at each temple, are kept in giant collections of tomes called “The Record.” Various versions of The Record for various temples are, periodically, transmitted from their various home temples to the Llamda's main temple, on Mount Llam, the Humani's spiritual home, where the various Records are, again, reviewed in painstaking detail, and collated, to determine any further hidden meanings, and messages. To the best of the Office of Religious and Cultural Affair’s understanding, no forms of The Record have ever, intentionally, been publicly released, but, rather, Llamdian priests seem, at least, to be keeping what insights they have gleaned for their own private use. Alas! Regardless, in the few instances where a priest has unintentionally let some aspect of The Record, or the holy analysis, slip, the outcome for the priest has been, it is said, tragic.
Great effort is made by the Llamda to synchronize the Hums at all locations, maintaining
a precise, and harmonious, play of notes and song around the world at any
certain moment. They do this utilizing a highly trained cadre of priest-astronomers,
they who closely follow the positions of the Ring, the Moons, the Sun, and the
stars. It is the dogmatisms of these priest-astronomers, indeed, that animates the Llamdian belief, found by so many others to be absurd, that the Universe beyond Arret is enormous, and that the known world is but a mote within the Cosmos’s
colossal compass ... !
Anyone who deliberately disrupts the Hum, and there have
been instances, we are certain, or who plainly, deliberately, and falsely, pretended to be in a
trance or ecstatic state during the Hum, is removed, and killed, in secret,
where the Godhead will not observe, lest this Godhead, supposedly, be offended by the priests' intolerance. This is known as a “private
death.” Such private deaths, as they are, are carried out by a group of select Llamdian priests, called the “Death Shepherds.” Indeed, the Death Shepherds are
speculated to engage in a wide range of secretive, and nefarious, activities in
maintaining, and propounding, the orthodox faith. Of these, however, little, or nothing,
is known, by us.
The Llamda, perhaps surprisingly, at least to us, outwardly espouse "tolerance" of “different” peoples, cultures, and lifestyles. This tolerance is a supposed demonstrates to the Godhead that the Llamdians would be Good Shepherds of idiosyncratic, even abhorrent, differences between themselves and the other worlds they hypothesize exist. They seek to "educate," they say, those different from them while also helping them avoid iniquity.
Yet, the Llamdians are, in practice, it is evident to us, extremely intolerant of non-believers. Non-belief, in their imaginings, suggests to the Godhead an unworthiness, a disparaging of the
Llamda’s future elevation to immortals, a blasphemous interference with the Godhead, and even an opposition to making the accident of
existence useful. Non-believers among the Llamda typically
experience private deaths, too, we understand, as in the form of those who interfere with the Hum.
Likewise, the Llamda claim to welcome happy accidents as “learning experiences.” While the Llamdians do, it seems, overtly attempt to "incorporate the unexpected," or some such thing, into their day-to-day plans, it is a poorly hidden secret that many among the ordinary laity, that is, the non-hard-core orthodox, appear to try to lead simple, humdrum, and predictable lives where they can avoid the bothersome need to welcome, and so address, any “happy accidents.”
There are, however, also a small, but growing, and deeply underground, segment of the Llamda known as "HAs," or "Happy Accidenters." HAs believe happy accidents are to be accepted and, even, delighted in. Thus, while HAs allow of the basic of Llamdian cosmologies, they usually reject the idea of contacting the "Creators," or distant gods, or Godhead. Therefore, they also reject the Hum. They think contacting the Godhead and the Hum is pointless, and maybe even destructive. They say, "Just embrace life for the happy accident it is!" Then they try to find happiness every day in everything they do. This is surely difficult sometimes, we imagine, since everything, in reality, is not always wonderful, and, also, they are hunted by the Death Shepherds, who wish, of course, to kill them. Such, perhaps, is the time-honored fate of blissful dissenters who just wish to be left alone.
The Llamdian orthodox’s intolerance of non-believers puts them at odds, one might say squarely, with other religions, creeds, sects, and cultures of other people of Pyth,
and of Arret, as a whole. The whole world of non-Llamdian Arret is, to the Llamdian orthodoxy, apostate. Yet, the Llamda elide this. At least, it seems so, for openness is what they espouse, even, as
noted above, welcoming differences with others, yet, it is suspected, on good evidence, that this is not so.
Several Llamda fundamentalists have, indeed, been caught murdering, or attempting to
murder, non-Llamdians, or destroying, or attempting to destroy, the religious
relics, and artifacts, and properties, of the non-Llamda. Graffiti in the favelas of the Llamda has been known to refer to other beliefs and believers as “Unhappy Accidents” ... ! The
Llamda have denied any official authorization for these actors, or their
actions, though Pythian authorities have suggested, we might say vociferously, that some of these
perpetrators were, in fact, Death Shepherds.
It is known, we may be sure, the Llamda cannot afford outright conflicts, with any of the leading creeds, or religions, or cultures, of Pyth. This is due to the relatively paucity of Llamdian followers, compared with those of the most significant other groups they might face, and given the Llamdian orthodoxy's fear of potentially, alienating the Godhead, should the Godhead ever be paying attention. Thus, an uneasy, but continuing, concourse continues between the Llamda and others in Pyth, with the Llamda acting, outwardly, as if no problem exists at all, while beneath a seemingly, placid surface turmoil, indeed, seethes. At the moment, the Lamdians say they are just here to help and shepherd those in need, and when the Godhead arrives, well, then we shall see where power truly lies.
Prepared by E. Sapir; edited by B. Whorf
Office of Religious and Cultural Affairs
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